A Pigeon Forge Nightmare: The OCD Guest Experience

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I’ve owned a cabin property management company in Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg for a while and 99% of the guest stays go exactly as you’d expect; they’re in and out without any issues.

But there is always that 1% that, I can only assume, were raised by wolves and/or a pack of wild hogs, and there’s one of those that stands out for me.

This guest starts off by asking a lot of questions…

  • Can we do early check in? 
  • Is there a Keurig?
  • What temperature does the hot tub get to?
  • How close are the neighbors to the cabin?

And over time the questions got oddly specific.

  • What type of toiletries are included and how many?
  • What is the ply-count on your toilet paper?
  • What’s the spice rack situation?
  • What thread count are the sheet?

At this point I’m annoyed and wondering how much trouble they’ll be when they arrive. As we all know, the only people that ask about ply count are the same people that perform self-colonoscopies via late night runs to Taco Bell. But I’m also really curious and wondering where this journey will end up.

The questions abruptly stop, they book, and in short order their stay begins. Radio silence during their entire visit, even though all my emails get sent out – door code email, checking in email, checking out email. It was like that weird calm before you spew from food poisoning. There’s always that 2 minutes where the cold sweats stop and you think, “Everything’s going to be fine…I’m fine.”

Everything was not fine.

Their stay ended and I waited for a call from my cabin cleaners like someone that just got an STD test – nervous and filled with curiosity. The call finally came and what my cleaners told me absolutely shocked me.

Turns out the mess I was worried about was irrelevant…I was the messy one! 

Like a meth-fueled cleaning team, every drawer was organized, even the one with all stirring spoons and utensils AKA the “random things drawer.” The spices were not only straightened but alphabetized. And the hot tub, which was ever so slightly rotated before, was now perfectly centered on the deck.

I can only imagine what it’s like living life like that! I wish there was an AirTnC (Air Tidy ‘n’ Clean) app that they were on – I would book them all the time!

And that was the guest experience that taught me that judging a book by its cover isn’t always the best. But if it’s a college group booking for spring break, then judging it by the cover is probably a safe bet!

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